The story of a 21-year old university undergraduate, Tolani Ajayi, who killed his father, chopped the body to pieces, before dumping the remains in a bush near their home in Ogun State went viral and many have condemned his actions.
However, Comedian Wale Gates took to twitter to share his story as a battered child, saying he has a little sympathy for the boy. Wale believes Tolani finally snapped after years of probably constant beatings in the name of discipline, just like an abused wife would. Read his detailed encounter with his father inside...
"It might come has a surprise but I have a little sympathy for the young guy that murdered his RCCG dad. Its easy for some of you to focus on just his actions but not what led to it. Years of probably constant beatings in the name of discipline. African parents sometimes cross the line between disciplining a child to torturing that child. He unfortunately snapped and lost it.
His preacher dad was probably no different from mine. Whose idea discipline was to descend into unnecessary Over The top beating.
I know the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, but I'm sure there's a common sense line somewhere. I'm not saying the boy was right I'm saying I have abit of sympathy for him cos 1 nite at d age of 19 I could have been in his situation. My dad only beat the back of your leg with a cane which left you with scars that lasted awhile unfortunately I wore shorts to school.The long lasting scars were more painful than the beatings cos everyone in school saw it and knew how I got it. Soon it progressed.
As I got older late teens it progressed to heavy slaps, heavy slaps 4nothing major. Like not washing his car 2his standard. Got 7 for that.One nite at the age of 19, we had alittle disagreement so little it was pointless. And b4 I knew it my dad was raining blows & slaps.....All I did was just guard my face and took it, but he didn't stop. I was backed into their bedroom, fell across d bed with his nails digging.In2 my neck (kept long nails) I finally pushed him off. He rushed out of d room & I stepped out to see where he was going I saw a man (dad).
Running towards me with a coke bottle, I ran back into the room locking the door behind me. He kicked the door in rage saying all sorts. Unfortunately the door held, mum in shocked stepped in. My brother stepped in reminding him he was a church deacon n he cldnt act like that.I still sometimes wonder what would have happened if I cldnt lock the room door or he got to me, one of us wld have been badly hurt at least. Its easy to sit online and judge the young man but when faced with senseless beating justified by religion & culture u might snap too. Some of the kinda beatings our parents gave us, we won't give our enemies let alone our own children that's how you know it was wrong.
Let me point out I was a regular child, I didn't smoke weed, steal or crazy stuff like that. I was a restless & playful child notin more.Some people say I FEARED MY PARENTS, u are not meant to FEAR your parents. Respect them Yes but Fear? No. I dnt want my daughter to FEAR me. That boy dt nite was a cornered battered animal, he was 21 no need2 beat him & bite him. He was no different frm an abused wife. He snapped.
In saying all these my dad came to watch me perform last year in Atlanta while I was on d LWKMD comedy tour we hadnt seen or spoken in 12yrs. Infact 2yrs earlier 2011 while in America for a show I picked up my phone and called him I knew that for me to move on I had to forgive. We get along well now, I actually believe he's a better man now. He's on my FB page, leaves comments & sends me prayers. Which I appreciate. Once again although he was wrong, I have some sympathy for the young man. There was no DEMON involved he only reacted to an abusive father.
Anyway enough of the unnecessary story about my life. I mean who gives a shit you say. Even a continuously cornered a dog, sooner or later that weak dog would bite you. As a father myself now I do things differently now. My daughter would respect & love me not fear me. I don't wanna be FEARED. My wife on the other hand hardly got beaten by her parents and she turned out very well with better morals than me. So beating isnt d answer.
Most of the strictest parents who constantly resort to beatings are actually very religious people. Dy wanna beat d 'demon' out of u. I know we wanna blame d drugs (which is most likely weed) its important not the forget d trigger (the beating & biting from d now dead dad. This boy didn't just wake up and murder his SAINT of a father, there was an altercation that went too far. BTW my mum beat us too but she hardly crossed the line and by the time I was in SS1 SS2 it hardly happened I was too grown & strong anyway.
My simple question is: Would you beat your child the same way your parents beat you? If your answer is NO, then you know they were wrong. For the family it's a lose lose situation, they now ve a dead father & a son who wld most likely sentenced to death. For what was avoidable.Since the father was this praying Saint of a man why didn't he pray the evil away? Why did he resort to beating & biting a 21yr old MAN?"
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